One-Night Stands and Ramen

Last night, my friend Crystal asked me, “Who do you like hanging out with more, your Asian friends or the lax-bros?”

To make this story less interesting, I actually couldn’t choose. But I did realize that I like the two different cliques for opposite reasons.

You see, many people associate collegiate lacrosse players with chugging beers and being in a perpetual habit of wearing sunglasses. At best, some complain about how the lax-bros are constantly wearing sweatshirts and listening to Biggie Smalls. At worst, the lacrosse team is perceived as weed addicts who fail every class and only chat about one-night stands.

…Not that there’s anything wrong with one-night stands…

All jokes aside, it’s a bit disheartening when I see others categorize lax-bros with these qualities. Such generalizations take away from what the team really is about. Plenty of my teammates choose not to smoke or drink, and a few more are even at the top of their Organic Chemistry classes. Besides, I enjoy sitting around in the locker room because we all value friendship and respect towards each other on the field, and with everyone else off the field.

Sure, there might be a couple assholes, but I bet even the Swiss curling team has their share of womanizers.

Now, on the contrary, hanging out with Asians is fun because we really do fit our stereotypes.

Perhaps it’s my odd sense of humor, but I always seem to find laughter in labeling when they are spot-on accurate. I mean, once, we really did get together to slurp cups of ramen late into the night. The scene of five Chinese students gorging on “Oriental” foods must have been a bit ridiculous. Through the hungry silence, Crystal would giggle in-between bites. Not even a Garfield comic-strip could have been funnier at the time.

Sure, any slightly chauvinistic individual would’ve laughed and jeered at us. But would I laugh with that person? Absolutely!

After all, if we can’t laugh at ourselves, we could never appreciate how comical life can be.

Cooking Like A College Kid

With Spring break underway, I will be spending this next week at school because of lacrosse training. It’s great since I get to hang out with my friends and teammates. It’s even better because now I have all the time to learn to cook. And the best part? I’m just living a life of friendships and cuisines. Here’s a few recipes on making that work.

A Manly Steak
12-ounce top sirloin steak
Montreal Steak seasoning
Olive Oil

Take the steak out of the wrapper (Duh…) and set it on a plate. Sprinkle both sides with a moderate amount of seasoning so it doesn’t smother the actual flavor of the meat. Afterwards, dribble a little olive oil on the steak, and rub until it is spread evenly. As you let the steak marinate for a few minutes, place a skillet pan on a heated stove-top so it’s sizzling beforehand.

Now, before you sear the steak, make sure to open all windows and/or completely cover the fire alarm. (Note to self: Covering the fire alarm may be a bad idea…) As soon as the steak is in the pan, the olive oil will immediately smoke up, so savor the aroma as it fogs up the room. Let the steak cook according to your taste, and flip it only once. Remember to account for the thickness of the beef cut, and be patient!

Once the steak is done, compliment it with a movie about Spartans or American football. If you don’t feel masculine enough, try eating with bare hands. Then attempt to wrestle the entire lacrosse team.

The Buffalo Chicken Panini That Will Make You More Friends
Sliced buffalo chicken
Sliced Provolone cheese
Sliced tomatoes
Oatnut bread
Butter

Smear generous amounts of butter on inside of both slices of oatnut bread. Apply slices of Provolone cheese, then sliced tomatoes, and finally, sliced buffalo chicken on top of the butter. Let your personal preferences (Or how much money you have for groceries…) decide how many slices of everything should go into the sandwich. Then smack the two sides of bread together in a panini-grill, and let it cook until near-burnt.

Not only is the buffalo chicken panini delicious beyond words, it is also a symbol of friendship. Offer it to a next-door neighbor or your secret crush, and they will see that you care and are prepared to take your relationships to the next level.

Cheap Chicken Alfredo
Diced chicken breast
Rotini pasta
Chopped Broccoli
Canned Alfredo sauce
Butter
Olive Oil

Pour the Rotini pasta into a pot of boiling water along with some butter, and stir until it is tender. As the pasta cooks, spread a thin layer of olive oil on a skillet pan and sauté the diced chicken breast. Unless you’re a fan of salmonella, be sure to cook the chicken to a golden brown.

Meanwhile, microwave the chopped broccoli with a few teaspoons of water. Drain the water from the cooked pasta and add a few spoonfuls of Alfredo sauce into the pot. Mix with the chicken and broccoli, and water if the blend becomes too dry. For additional zest, spice it up with some salt and pepper.

To make the cooking easier, have a friend help out. I certainly can’t cook chicken and pasta by myself. Plus, who would want to get food poisoning by themselves?