Long-Distance Love

Being a single guy, my biggest worry is usually what the next TV show is on the Food Network. However, my recently-taken friend is often wondering about the difficulties of a relationship, especially since they will be worlds apart once the summer is over. Thus, I’ve decided to share my perspectives on long-distance romances. To the readers, I hope you enjoy it. To my friend, you should probably do the opposite of anything I write here.

I’m about to enter a long-distance relationship! What should I do?

Buy a lot of cheesecake, and be prepared to deal with lots of happiness smeared with misery and doubt, and then perhaps some more happiness.

Do I really need to think about my relationships two years down the road?

Unless there are children or living situations involved (or if you’re married), no! Whether you plan it or not, every relationship will develop through unexpected obstacles and comforts. If you try too hard to force your own perception of what you want the courtship to be, the joy and fun will be lost.

How often should we get in touch?

Definitely enough so you both know what’s going on in each other’s lives, but not enough that you know when she does her laundry.

Humor aside, healthy communication’s a significant part of being in a commitment and being able to appreciate the relationship. Even if you’re just sharing a few jokes or saying hi, it could make a happy difference in one another’s day.

What if I’m awkward with phone conversations?

You’re in luck. We live in a world of text messages, social networks, e-mails, and the ever-romantic letters-through-the-mailbox. There will always be ways for you to keep in touch and show your caring love.

If these methods fail, you can always use a webcam and make funny faces at each other for hours on end.

We’ve been doing this long-distance thing for awhile, and I think I’m starting to lose feelings for the other person. How do I address this?

It’s always better to make this known to your significant other; that way, you can both come to a mutual understanding. Maybe you’d want to take a break and see how this feels. Maybe you can plan to visit each other and rekindle your love by a nice, candle-lit, steak dinner. Having a steak dinner can never be the wrong move.

I’m afraid my girlfriend may have lost interest in this relationship. What now?

If she missed one call in the week, it’d be damaging to let your mind wander towards this direction. But if you truly feel this way, you should speak up about it! Emphasize the importance of honesty and you’ll both be better off knowing (and in some circumstances, learning to accept) whatever reality comes from each other’s feelings. Also, read the question/answer above.

I did something my girlfriend is unhappy about and now she is calling to talk about it. I’ve had a long day, so can I not pick up?

Wrong question! You pick that phone up right now!

There’s a cute girl making passes towards me at the party. What do I do?

Is this girl Blake Lively? No? Does this girl come with gratuitous amounts of cheesecake? Yes? Then go for it.


For a guy that knows nothing about relationships, these are my answers to relationship questions. What are yours, and how would/do you deal with them?